Sunday, November 8, 2009 2:10 AM
after an absence for a while...i feel it's time for me to return to writing. I mean, u know there are not much people who read my blog,but i dun really care who read my blogs...i say what i like and i write what's on my mind.
today's topic: being a fool
i think for the past 20 years 10 months and 11 days of my live, I have been living like a fool. Not only in love, but in life.
why do i said this? well, i never succeeded in love. I always either being played, used or even betrayed by love. so u see, how fool am i? this is why i hate falling in love, especially with good guys. cause i know good guys are so good to you and that you take them the wrong way. but if you ignore those good feelings that they offer, people will say you're not.
Outside, I may look cool and cheerful in a way. but inside, there are a lot of thoughts of jealousy that i have been trying to throw away.
you think it's easy? no...everytime i try to dish the feelings away, they keep coming back. i really really hate it. when will love stop playing with me? I want a decent life and i don't know...too many heartbrokens keep me not believing in love. i tried hard not to fall for those same people...even if my close friends told me to wait and see what will his reaction will be, i always knew that it will end up the same. they don't have the same feeling as you. but it's hurt to know those truth and i keep running away from those truths. why?
because love is such a pain, and the pain that caused by love, took years to heal. and if i wanna believe in love, it will take time.
suddenly i have the urge to write this:
you came into my dream
but i never knew the happy ending
'cause the sun woke me with its bright shines.
oh i wish the dream will never end.
when i first saw you
i thought you're just ordinary
not catchy or even good looking
but don;t judge the book by its cover
as time goes,
i thought we grew closer.
the summer keeps us closer
and i begin to open my heart to you
we started out as friends
and things ended up so different in the end
but i already knew it will be like this
thinking whether i should continue or move on
the miracle of love never come to me
the summer of love fools me
and it betrays me during the moody moments of fall
oh this is why i hate summer
cause i know nothing last forever.
memories brings back happy moments
