Memories brings back happy moments.

Thursday, February 28, 2008 8:08 AM

I just woke up from the strangest dream. WHy i think it's strange, it is because of the flow of the dream. Well, in my dream, I actually work with my friends, in a restaurant owned by 3 of my seniors. Well, I was kinda closed with one of the seniors, like brother and sister relationship, ok lets call him H. In this dream, I was kinda a terrible waitress, but I was good at other things. One of my friend, A, who has a crush on H, made me a waitress even though she knows i'm not very good. Since she is also my senior, i gotta respect her and all.

The restaurant was closed to where the owners lived. A was complaining on how hard it is to wake H up, so she told me to wake him up. SO i did, and went to their place. When I arrived there, he already awake and was actually playing PS2 with this friends. SO i approached him and sat next to him, on his bed, while watching him play. Since it was cold, I just lying down sideway and use his blanket to cover me. Suddenly, he lay his head on my shoulder...i was like "ha???" what is he doing? if senior A found out, she'll kill me. after an hour of playing, H got a bit hungry. So he asked me out. Actually i was supposed to take him back to the restaurant, but i guess i couldn't do that.

So, we were out. Three of us. Me, H and one of his friend. OK, i wasn;t wearing a decent clothes to go out. I actually was wearing an oversized shirt along with a short pant, but i got my heels on. Wad a terrible mistake i did. When we got on the street, since it was kinda a scary place to walk. H was been holding my left arm the whole time. I was a bit nervous and shock. but as we got to the Mall, his hand suddenly moved and he began to hold me left hand. so we were holding hands as we strolled to the mall. I was a bit uncomfortable and i had this other feeling that A will kill me. "argh!"

then we passed this store called Antrophologie. A clothing shop, kinda like urban outfitter, but more expensive. we entered in and looked around. H was looking for something and then he found this white dress, which match with my heels and ask me to put it on. I was like "wad?!?", since he was my senior, i just listen to him. SOmething bad! I met A inside the changing room and S as well. i was like "OMG! i'm gonna die soon!" well, they asked me who i came with and i told them i came with my friend and they were waiting outside. SO i was changing and dress was kinda difficult to wear. but as soon as i wore them, OMG it looked perfect...and I needed to go outside and show H, right?!? so I was walking out, with A beside me, curiously wanting to know who i came with. and then ...
~~"KRRINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!"~~

hahaha...my alarm rang and i instantly woke up. end of my dream. I guess it was not time for me to die yet.

WHat I found this dream weird is that all those people actually exist in my life and i know them well. I just never know why they ended up in my dream...

Currently listening: You know I'm no Good - AMy Winehouse

memories brings back happy moments

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 11:13 AM

ever since like yesterday i think or...a few weeks ago, i couldn't really hold me anger. well, i kinda get pissed easily towards people. but i tried not to show it even though inside me almost ~~burst~~ out! I feel like bitchingother people. i felt like a bitch...hahaha i dunno why? maybe because of the stress that surround me. don't feel like writting today -_-

currently listening : I just wanna live - Good Charlotte..

memories brings back happy moments

Tuesday, February 26, 2008 11:44 PM

As of today, I decided not to find love any soon...cause i'm kinda lazy..hehehe and don't really feel like it. And believe or not, my papi allan supported me in this..hahaha..guess cause he's single and not looking as well.hahaha...Hidup SIngLe!

You know why I do this? well just cause it seems that my life seems so difficult and I feel that I really need to spend my time learning to know myself, and rather spending my time with my friends instead of wishing of ~~wasted love~~. well, that's my decision for now.. Not looking for love...

I will try not to be jealous or anything about other couples, cause i have friends around me whom i can also be happy with. I no longer any broken heart, cause of loving someone who doesn't love me back. You know, loving someone is not easy, and when you know that someone you love doesn't love you back, it really hurt you and...it's such an unpleasant feeling.

ya, tell you the truth, i haven't have someone whom i like, like me back, so now, not really in the mood of love. Now all i can think about are just getting into Business skool, graduate and g

et a job! hehehe...love and marriage, kinda not my priority right now.

Well, i kinda grateful with the gift of singleness that God gave me, cause I am happy being single since I'm not really being attached to anything. yay!!

P.S. I kinda dislike the day KiBUm oppa look right now...haiz...

Currently Listening: So Sick -Ne Yo

memories brings back happy moments

Monday, February 25, 2008 8:05 PM

Loving someone is not easy as it seems...looking for someone whom you can care about, love and cherish every moment in your love is even harder. If it's easy, why do we need to worry so much.

According to my past experiences usually the person whom you love, doesn't love you back or he may already have someone else in their lives. Then when you found out about it, you'll be broken hearted, blaming why life is so cruel, letting you down while other people are so busy with their love lives. well, wad to do? We are not the one who plan our lives, we are just the one's doing it. See wad i mean.

So, now, I think I would prefer to be single, well, at least for now, not that I am saying I have been a relationship before. Nah, I had never have one. But dreaming about having one, yet that's not really the priority in my life cause I'm tired of having my heart broken over and over again. one after another, all with the same reason. why must i wasted loving someone who wouldn't love me back.

Tell you the truth, I used to easily like someone, especially the guy whom I considered my type. yet, none of them like me back, but it was just a fling for a while, wouldnt last long, but there's always pain and jealousy come between it. Like my friend always said, Love is blind...well, I don't really believe it yet, at least for now.

Right now, there's a song that really kinda describe my feelings and my friends...

It's late and I'm feeling so tired

Having trouble sleeping.

This constant compromise

Between thinking and breathing.

Could it be I'm suffering

Because I'm never give in?

Won't say that I'm falling in love

Tell me I don't seem myself

Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love

Some kind of therapy

Is all I need

Please believe me

Some instant remedy

That can cure me completely

Could it be that I'm suffering

Because I'll never give in?

Won't say that I'm falling in love

Tell me I don't seem myself

Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love'cause

I've been there before and it's not enough

So nobody say it

Don't even say it

I ve got my eyes shutWon't look, oh

No, I'm not in love

Could it be I'm suffering

Because I'll never give in?

I'm falling love

Tell me I don't seem myself good enough for something else

Just don't say I'm falling in love

Falling in loveJust don't say I'm falling in love

Oh, yeah

Falling love ooh

Oh, oh, don't say that I'm falling in love, don't say that, oh

Just don't say that I'm falling in love, yeah

Just don't say that I'm falling in love

Don't say but in the answer'

Cause I'll never give in

Oh Falling in love

Yeah Oh

Well, love is just an abstract thing, it is not easy to get it, unless you can give it to someone else. Right now, I don't need love from someone else, just from my family, friends and GOD...

Quote of the Day: The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.

Currently Listening: Trouble Sleeping - Corinne Bailey Rae

memories brings back happy moments

Sunday, February 24, 2008 8:45 AM

Today, I woke up with heavy head. I was not feeling well yesterday and couldn't concentrate when I was reading my book. So i was too lazy to wake up, but I have a sg with Mel, so obviously I need to wake up.

I log in to my MSN and saw something surprising shocking. The cute Japanese guy who I used to have a ~~crush~~ on was online. A bit shocking and suprising cause after I added his MSN like a year and a half ago, I never see him online. PLus another guy was on too, but he's probably still sleeping, too early to wake up right there.
It was really really surprising to see him on. Well, now that I'm kinda energized hopefully, I would be able to concentrate on my studies today and eventually go to church, cause I was thinking whether I was able to do it or not.

Yesterday, I got a headache and all and plus something not good happend, don't really wanna talk about it. gonna tell you the whole story someday...

Currently listening - Irony - WOnder Girls

memories brings back happy moments

Saturday, February 23, 2008 9:53 AM

OK, it's me back to the reality of life...(i was supposed to start studying but i can't help myself to write this)
SO, here goes...

My brain is now completely filled with "What If" and "If only" phrases...can't really believe..SOmetimes, when I think about my life, do I really worth living? I mean God is so kind that he give me the gift of life. Through my mother's womb, i was able to be born in this world. Yesterday, after watching this particular video, I cried. I mean, I should be thankful for what I have and not complain about anything. I think for most of my life, I spend complaining, not caring about others, just thinking about myself and wasted money. I felt so immature after thinking about this.

God create humans..and to Him, we are all the same, we may see ourselves as richer than other, prettier, smarter or even having high status, but to God, all those stuff are nothing. I think I should change the way I live, because I felt ~~dissatisfied~~ unsatisfied with what I am currently living.
Do I worth living? - Yes...And what SHould I do about this? - I should Just change to become a better person, and cherish every minute and every moment in my life because I can never predict the future as something may happend to me the next minute or hour of my life that I may not aware of.

Here's the videos:

Quote of the Day: "Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever."

Currently Listening - a korean song - You are Born to loved

memories brings back happy moments

Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:14 PM

Well, this morning, I was as usual, wasted my time watching video. as I watched, i slowly realized that donghae oppa is really my dream guy. i mean not only he can be cute, he can be HOT as well. He dances and sings well. He also do well in sport.He also can play guitar. I just adore guyz who can play guitar/drum and play sport, espcially soccer or basketball. He can cook...even though only scramble egg and ramen. He's such a funny guy and he really adore children. In the adonis camp, he was playing around with the kids, have jokes with them and really, he acted like a young father KAWAII!! there are also other stuff that I liked about him. He cared about others and he don't drink or smoke...hehehe...another plus for him. OK, I was just bragging too much about him ^^

Then another thoughts come up to me this morning. People brag to me that they can't cook or they don't like to cook. I mean. You, everybody can cook, just look up at a recipe and follow them. hmm..the taste, well it kinda different for each person. I mean for me, I never say im a good cook. I mean, i only know to cook several dishes, but people said it takes great. but if other people follow the same recipe that i do, the taste may be different...and you know why? when you're cooking, you gotta have the passion for that food. you gotta think about the person who's gonna eat it. as for me, everytime i cook, i always wanna cook something good, especially for a person who is special in my life. and you want to cook for them so that when they took their first bite, they will give you a smile in their face and the taste would memorable. easy right? so lesson to learn, cook a dish as if you cook for your beloved one, so that the taste will be so delicious even if it is just a simple dish.

Me, simply craving for sushi.I think im insane..

quote of the day: "Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." - Helen Keller

Currently listening: Jason Harwell - SOmewhere the sun

memories brings back happy moments

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 11:22 PM

Yo!Wassup, peps!
Today's weather was bloody cold. Me,as being a ~~stubborn~~ ignorant girl, forgot to wear a scarf to cover my face, so i almost ended up having frost bite. that's the punishment of being naughty...well, that's wad my Mba always say, "Dia ga nakal, cuman bandel!" sure, you know wad it means.

I had MM practice today, got a little hyper together with Wei and Eff..but it was fun..hahaha..so, just check out our "stuff" till Friday, hopefully, it would change the atmosphere of the room. hahaha...

Now, i kinda hungry, can't think of anything i guess, wad should I do??? well, i haven't talk to Papi today, i think he's busy. everyone busy. well me also, i was supposed to study but today i kinda ended up surfing aroung wikipedia after looking at the word "assasination" which then lead to "Adolf Hilter" and "the Holocust", I also search for "World War I and World War II"

today, there's a lunar eclipse..but nothing special about it. guess, i prefer someother phenomenon, which would i think bring out my imagination. I think I need to wake up early tomorrow, i need to study again, which almost done..

Quotes of the Day: "I've learned... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. "

Currently Listening: Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

memories brings back happy moments

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 9:57 PM

as of today, i am 19 and one month. i received a cute pendant necklace from my extended family. I Love them all and of course miss them all too. They are some of the important people in my life. Today, i pretty tired and spend my hours studying while watching...not a very effective way to study.

i dunno wad happend but i came across a song that ~~someone~~ a guy gave to me before. at that time, he said he want to do this with me. well, it was an old long story...it was just the past.
ok here's the lyric...

"I wanna make you smile,Whenever you're sad.Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.All I wanna do,Is grow old with you.I'll get you medicine,When your tummy aches.Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.Oh it could be so nice,Growin' old with you.I'll miss you, kiss you,Give you my coat when you are cold.Need you, feed you.Even let you hold the remote control.So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.Oh I could be the man, Who grows old with you.I wanna grow old with you."

well, it's a song from the wedding singer movie. it's a very romantic song. it reminded me of the past, even though there may be a chance, i know we are not meant to be together..we just don't. he's great guy and i know he would find a better girl than me. cuz i just not meant for him...

Alex oppa finally reply my text messages, after so long. but when i reply back, he hasnt reply my messages. so sad. well i guess he's busy. talk alot with papi today, even though there's a lot of silent...still, it was great.

"sigh" i am 19 and i felt old. i felt my life is still boring. i guess i need to put more colour on them. hahaha...looking for a guy describe in the lyric...

Quotes of the day: "Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea what so ever. "

Currently Listening: I wanna grow old with you - Adam Sandler

memories brings back happy moments

2:15 AM

when will you know that you actually fall in love with a person? cause i have made mistakes of whether i actually love someone. maybe it was a crush, a fling or a lust....i don't even know what is the meaning of love. people told me love is a sweet thing. but the love that i know felt ~~cold~~ bitter and i sometime can't stand to think about it for so long. maybe because i wasted most of my youth with one-sided love. i guess it's not my time yet.

there are sometimes things that i don't understand. what my friends have that i don't have. am i too plain? or am i too something? i don't even know cause no one ever told me the truth. i like a friend who always told me the truth. it might be painful to hear, but you know, it's something so significant that it may help your life.

i guess i have care for several people before. I wasted my precious time, day dreaming about them, thinking about the "what if.." and "if only..." yet the truth, i never really actually try to make a move on them. i am just too scared. ever since i've gotten my heart broken several times, it's not easy for me to start loving someone new.

maybe i'll just wait for a guy who would change this future for me. and this guy is going to be the one who will accept me as who i am and i will accept him just he is. i know humans are not perfect and there may be conflict among each of us, but if we could work things out, everything will go well. won't it???

Quote for the day: "Love is not about finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can't live without..."

SOng of the day: Aku Cinta Padamu - Glenn Fredly

memories brings back happy moments

Sunday, February 17, 2008 1:29 AM

when the clock strike midnight, i return home and back to reality.

I had a valentine party tonight, and it was fun. I wore this tube black dress, got my make up on and all, and i felt like a princess. ok...fine im kinda exageratting myself. honestly, i felt like a cinderella, but sadly, i didn't met my prince. got to meet some friend, but not Mr. Right.

I think Mr. Gamer was also having fun in the party. been trying to call my Papi all night, but he didnt pick up. haiz -_-

ok , the party was fun. there was this dance...ok, Im suck at dancing. I danced twice with arie and once with davin. ok...i mess up alot...but it was an exciting experience...

so, now left me wandering...if only mr gamer is here...or if only...mr gamer feel the same as i do...i would be so happy...yet it is impossible...fine...tell u the truth, i honestly miss him. I miss my papi too. I miss my mami. I miss my 2 sister, deeyan n ner2. and I miss ivi. I miss my cupcakes. I miss my muffin and i especially miss my little santa. well been missing all of people, just makes me burst into tears.

a good song to describe my mood: YUI-Cherry

memories brings back happy moments

Friday, February 15, 2008 1:23 AM

OK, let this year valentine, something really small kept me happy for the whole day. This morning I text message my friends including Papi, Mr Gamer and Mr Sleepyhead. then not long after that, my papi called me and told me that he just woke up and just received the message. then he asked me whether i want to talk to Mr Gamer. Then i was "....errr.." but before waitng for my reply, he quickly gave the phone to his roomate and then to Mr Gamer. OK, i talked with him for like 5 seconds, but i was pleased. yay!

For the whole afternoon, I couldn't stop smiling thinking how happy I was even though i did not receive any chocolate. well, it was ok. what happend this morning is enough for me. My God, something unpleasant happend. I don't wanna really tell you, cause he might read it. But it kinda annoy me and made illfeel...ok...simple right. i'm a simple and harsh person, i usually tell the truth.

I went to the gym again today. Did 15 min on the machine and got both my legs pretty tired. then i played volleyball for while. again I hurt my left pinky. now, i'm stuck writing my bus-application essay. well, please pray for me, I MUST GET IN THIS TIME!

valentine is not the only day you can show your love and care to the people that are important to you. to me, valentine can be my everyday life, as i try to show as much care to the people i loved

currently listening: ten 2 five- i will fly

memories brings back happy moments

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 10:22 PM

well, it's almost valentine and what that means is...it's time for you to show how much you care to the people you love. but that does not necessarily need to be on valentine.
well, again, this year, i celebrated my valentine alone. no dinner no gift no chocolate no flower no date...hahaha..but it's ok...as long as im happy with people around me...

my past is just filled with puppy love, the present is where i am living at and the future is what i'm anticipating for.

so, how's your past valentine have been? i've told u about mine...guess there's nothing special about it. i'm 19 and i'm single. and i'm happy about it. right!!!!! hahaha..cuz for me, the gift of singleness is the one of the great gifts that God has given me. i know He will help me find my Mr Right so that i can live happily ever after. ok enough with fairy tales.

i guess, i can't be truly myself in front of people so im kinda working on that. well, hope my hunny and muffin had a great valentine day...

currently listening: usher and alicia keys-my boo

memories brings back happy moments

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 12:43 AM

Ever since Friday, i've been tagging along Mami Vanani wherever she go...hahaha...from the volley, swimming, fondue, hot pot, church and until today gym n volley.

i went to the gym today, well, did a 30 min on the treadmil. as you may all know, running is not my sport, it kills both my feet. the horrible pain is just killing me. unlike me, my sister is better at running,whereas me, I am better at swimming, which reminds me of the medals that i won for butterfly stroke. wad a memory!

well, after the gym, i practice volley for a 1.30 hours. a bit improve i might said to myself. i'm starting to catch some balls and practise some tossing too. At the end, I practise my serving, which still awfully terrible cause the ball keeps going to all different directions. guess, im not used to toss ball, basketball and netball usually require me to block the ball and catch it rather than tossing it. same with the soccer ball, when i played the goalkeeper. these just bring back memories of old time.

valentine is coming up in like 3 days....well, have you gotten your valentine yet? i don't..probably i'll stuck doing my business essay. Damn It

ok fine, i just swear... i know it's not good. but that's me. sometimes anger just build within me and some people just need to beware cause something that annoyed me can me roaring with anger.
i have my own belief and understanding and sometime, if i don't like someone, i will completely ignore that person. and you know who you are....

guess, i really miss my sister. we both have this rebel attitude within ourselves. we both like to speak up our mind and speaking the truth about others. even though we said bad things to each other, we loved each other very much. we are really really have a close relationship that no one can replace.

currently listening: Fergie-Glamourous

memories brings back happy moments

Sunday, February 10, 2008 11:29 PM

OK, fine..i'm dreaming again. as usual, my valentine this year, i'm gonna be alone. well, i'll probably do my essay for the bus-skool thinging and then probably fall asleep quickly, unless....there's someone expectedly suprises me and well, i dunno. guess..im just too much day dreaming

GOD, i'm 19 and I've nvr been in love. strange but strange....hahaha...guess it's not my time yet, or the guyz are too patheticly dun notice me at all (sorry ppl -__-) maybe i shud be alone. GOD, please send me a nice, tall,kind, caring, funny, romantic guy....hahaha..greedy jennot, asking for too much stuff.

let me tell u the memories i had during valentine's day:

when i was in sec 4, i had an accident. my left eye got hit by a soccer ball and the hard lens in my left eyes broke and i was send to the hospital. i was then send home. it was the day before valentine, friday the 13th...spooky. Actually, i receive a note that morning from this guy that used to call me everyday. well, i didnt answer him in the morning, but at night, he called when he found out about the accident, and then he asked again,"would u be my valentine?" and i said no, guess we're better off as friends. he didnt came the next night at the valentine BBQ.
i was in Seattle the year after. well, i was still in Kaplan doing my english course and we had this game like secret admirer thinging. i got 3 gifts from this person, yet i dunno who it was. plus, my classmate, who is as old as my dad, gave a me heart chocolate. he was so sweet and such a gentleman.
the year after, i was in PH. well, i spend my valentine day with my close friend, erik. well, we're kinda had a dinner together, well, i cooked fettucini for him. and he compliment me, yay! finally, i can cook!
wad did i do during valentine in madison. i dun remember it clearly. guess couldnt describe it to u.
this year. probably gonna be the same thing. jennot is always alone during valentine. well, wad to do....it's not my fault.

well, this year...i just wish there's something special. maybe Mr Gamer or Mr Sleepyhead will wish me or something. guess, i dunno. my brain dun really work well today i guess. pity me...

CUrrently listening: Younha-First Love at Orange
p.S. SO DISAPPOINTED AT PAPI, CUZ HE'S BEEN IGNORING ME SINCE YESTERDAY!

memories brings back happy moments

Sunday, February 3, 2008 10:51 PM

Sometime it is hard to figure out what's going on in your life?
You don't what will happen to you in the few hours or the next few years. well, that's life! it is complicated and full of exciting events and obstacles. so, why do I bother so much about my life?
cause i'm the type of person who likes to calculate the risks for every action i took.
weird, you think?!? well, that's just me. I'm that person, i simply live my lives full of worriness.

since i can't predict the future, i also can't figure out other people's minds. you know i'm the type of person who likes to keep quiet. I don't really care about the stuff that goes on around me. And sometimes, i hate to be in other people's lives. it's such a pain in the ass for me. i know you think i may not look like that person, but guess wad, that's the real me.

well, just like all the people in the world, I'm not perfect. but i strived to be one. I don't think i am person that people always call me to be. SOmetimes, they just exagerating, which can seems a nuisance for me. well, guess they don't know the true me yet.

i've been thinking about something these couple of days. well, im thinking about someone, well, let's call him, Mr Gamer!ok...he kept lingering in my mind, yet i can't figure out how he felt about me. fine, we just knew each other and all, but still, isn't weird?!? why he's on my mind? every time, he's online, i keep thinking, "what's he doing?", "SHould i talk to him?!" well these little voices in my head just filling my mind. and guess wad, yesterday he wrote something. it's kinda rare to see that. but who is it for? i mean, i know it's a lyric from a song. but who is it for? well, i know it's not for me. and i dun want to think that too. well, guess i just have to wait and see

news for today: New York Giants won the SUperbowl!
Currently listening: Yui- Cherry (this song can really describe how i feel right now)

memories brings back happy moments