Friday, May 23, 2008 2:20 AM
I know this kinda stupid, but i had slept like at 9PM...yet i woke up suddenly at 1. really bad dream keeping me awake for nights. didn't i tell you i have done with finals and now what i have been doing is just completely emptying my brain out and now there's seems to be nothing inside. ok. i've been daydreaming for days and nights. too much dreaming just keeping myself in misery.
this summer seems like a summer for love. ok. again. no love for me. hahaha..maybe i laugh at this to myself, yet i maybe hurting inside. sometimes, when you think that you like someone and that someone may like you back, yet the truth is, they don't feel the same way. how would you feel about that? well, just cuz it happends to me alot, not easy for me to fall for other people. maybe sometimes if i do tell that i may like someone, i dun completely like them. they do give me some nervousness, but that's all they give. no sparks no ntohing.
it's not my fault that i'm like this. my mom been worried about me, that she asked me to soon find a guy to kinda complete my life. but you what they say, it's not as easy as it looks. sometimes, i wanna open up to people, yet words just can't come out and i would stuck in silence. i like to keep the problesms within myself. and when they increases, they just added the burden inside me.
you know, i can;t be someone else for people to love me. the truth, i hardly being myself sometimes towards people. it's just the other part of me wont come out whenever im around my friends. im not telling you that i'm being fake or something, yet i can't be myself. that's really my weakness. i always live up to other people expectation, and kinda disappointing when i don't.
been sick of school, been sick of life sometimes. but im glad to have both of my parents. i guess they really know how to handle this stubborn daughter of their that always to act immature. i dunno. sometimes, i would be in tears for no reasons. maybe when i go back to indo this time, there's a sense of not wanting to go back. i really wanna start a new life. a new me. yet, it's difficult.
Currently listening: The best you never had - Leona Lewis
memories brings back happy moments
