Thursday, May 29, 2008 12:57 AM
my life is a circus...the exact word that can describe the entire life.
ok, it's been more than a week of my holiday. you can say im enjoying it, but im sure you know that i really get bored sometimes. just spending my time watching videos. and wad, i do cross stitch. ya ppl may think im a loser to do that, well, f"ck those ppl. i just love art and craft stuff, as you may know, i really like art, colours and fashion. that's really my thing. my passion if you can say.
ok, my friends are now off with their romantic cruise, while, i'm still sailing on my single boat. happy?i may say so sometimes. but i do get lonely sometimes. if you notices, when my friends get their loves, i tend to back off from the friendship, just a little. i dunno why, but that's just me. cuz i kinda hate to interfere them, kinda prefer by myself too, instead of seeing them the lovey-dovey way. there other things that i do sometimes, i have this fear of being forgotten. cuz, people in my life simple come and go, and they just left you know. and it hurts when they do that.
ok, i think i have something to say about my own relationship. as you know, no progress, just cuz, i'm too lazy to work for it. cuz i know in the end, the results are all gonna be the same, they just have no feeling for me. so why do i bother to sacrifice another feeling of mine. you think i'm scared. the truth, i am scared. i am scared to try to love someone. my mom thinks i must change a little, be more aggressive, and all. but it isn't like me. i hate doing that, cuz i know when i do that. ntohing works. i dun wan anymore heartbrokens. you know, my friends try to match me with mr. nice guy. ok, he's nice and all, and we got similar characteristics. but the more i think about it, the more that i know he dun suit me. we got common favourites. maybe a little, but it's not enough. or maybe cuz i know nothing about it. nah. you cannot force love. if you tell me, i cannot force myself to like someone. i'll get hurt and so will he. hate to do that. so, this girl who dream about fairy tale, will just gonna wait. i'm sure there's someone who will loves for me...
currently listening: MC Mong-Circus
memories brings back happy moments
