Tuesday, April 22, 2008 10:35 PM
is it easy to smile? i seemed to forget how to smile properly. each time i saw myself in the mirror and in the photos, my smile no longer look real. it's been hiding too much misery that sometimes no longer aware what will the world be like..without me. dun worry im not thinking suicidal or anything...it's just that, my life seems to be full of misery lately. at least that's how i see them.i felt that i am so lucky to receive so much love from people around. they care about me and all, but am i right enough to accept them all? i mean, i can't like response to all of these all. but i dunno. i keep saying to myself, that i receive a lot of love but i dunno how to love. GOSH, i wish i can be happy like forever. got myself a phrase from somewhere. simple guidelines for happiness
1. Free your heart from hate. (obviously, it's hard for me to do this)
2. Free your mind from worry. (same with this)
3. Live simple. (how can i live simple, when life seems so complicated)
4. Give more. (i dunno how to love, how can i give more)
5. Expect less. (too much expections-lead my life to misery)
OMG, what should i do? i mean, to me, my life is a bit screwed!well, i can't believe i'll be such a shame to my family. what kind of a daughter am i?i cannot live up to my parents expections. and again i continue to disappoint them with my failure. to muff, i cannot longer be such a good older sister, even to my other younger cousin. Gosh, can my life get any more complicated?
i really need a miracle. i dun need someone to tell me it's ok. cuz, many already did. and still my heart seems to have said that...it's a miserable life im carrying out right now. what should i do...i no longer can know.
lyrics from one song:
Apa ku tak pantas dicinta
Apakah diri ini tak layak mencinta
Apakah memang tak ada cinta untuk diriku ini
